Teenhood is a complicated stage in human growth mixed with physical, emotional, and individual changes. These changes can be rapid, slow, confusing, and overwhelming for different teens. Thus, teenage problems with parents are bound to happen because teenagers want to assert their Independence at this stage.
Teenagers struggle to cope with diverse issues and emotional outbursts, the least they want from their parents is understanding, care, assistance, and a listening ear. Sadly, that healthy relationship between teens and their parents is often replaced with a conflict of interest.
In most cases, we see teens who have lost control over their emotions, yelling to express their views versus parents who aren’t easygoing and want to force their teens to obey their commands.
But, it doesn’t have to be a fight. Teenhood can be a fun phase too when parents are willing to understand the perspective of their teens— you were once a teen!
In the guide, I will take you on a tour of the common teenage problems teens face with their parents and how teenagers can cope with toxic parents.
Common Teenage Problems with Parents
1. Contradicting Views
Parents are often surprised when their child who was once obedient to all their instructions suddenly starts opposing. As children transition into teenagers, they begin to have a mind of theirs and want to make their own choices.
Contradicting views are a common teenage problem with parents as teenagers begin to think and feel their parents are old school and that they know better. Hence, constant arguments and disagreements over issues.
2. Lack of Freedom
Teenhood comes with the urge for more freedom and Independence. So, teenagers want to break free from the boundaries, rules, and control their parents once had over them.
That doesn’t sit well with most parents and there is a high chance of force from parents on teens trying to break free.
While complete freedom might be dangerous for your teens, you could lessen the boundaries by giving them a little trust.
For instance, you don’t have to seize your teen’s phone during weekdays, instead, you could use ways to manage your kid’s screen time to combat the issues.
3. Constant Criticism and Comparison
Every individual is unique and special in their way. The best you could do for your teens is to encourage their creativity and uniqueness to enable them to be the best they could be.
In contrast, parents constantly criticizing and comparing their teens has become one of the core teenage problems with parents. It gets demoralizing when your best isn’t appreciated rather criticized.
Continuous comparison isn’t a good way of boosting your child’s self-esteem but does the reverse.
4. High Expectations and Pressure
Teenagers can become rebellious when parents are forcing them into a career or to make choices they don’t like.
Similarly, it gets overwhelming for teens when their parents set unrealistic expectations for them, especially academically.
High expectations and pressure from parents can make teenagers experience mental health issues such as anxiety and depression when they can’t meet up to their parent’s expectations.
5. Choice of Friends
“You can’t hang out with those kinds of friends”, my mom says
“Why”? I replied
“But nothing is wrong with them and I like them”, I added
“They don’t show good character and you know it”, my mom replied
Deep now in me, I knew mom was right, but I would always argue with my mom.
At some point, I thought she hated me because she restricted my contact with those groups of girls and warned them never to come over to our home.
Now, with the progress my life has experienced through the years, I can’t help but appreciate my mom for sticking to her words.
When I look back as an adult, I now understand better what mom was trying to avoid.
Sadly, teenagers don’t get to see the broader picture when choosing their friends as their thinking is clouded by their emotions.
Therefore, most teens get to put up a fight when their parents oppose their choice of friends.
6. Emotional Outburst
Emotional outburst is one of the common teenage problems with parents as teenagers don’t know how to recognize and manage their emotions.
Teenagers get to experience mood swings. This moment they’re all moody and reserved and the next minute they’re acting rude.
Most parents wouldn’t tolerate that as an emotional outburst but will assume their teens are having a character disorder— we know what usually comes next—punishment.
Teenage Girl Problems with Parents
1. Choice of Clothing
“You can’t leave my house in that dress”, my dad instructed
“Sweetie, I think you have outgrown that outfit”, my mom adds
Since I was quite emotional when much younger, tears started rolling down my cheeks as I rushed back to my room and concealed the outing.
“Aren’t you going again”, mom calls
“I can’t be the only one looking old school at the event”, I would reply
“Yes you aren’t, I’m on your team, I would hear from behind”, coming from my mom
My mom made me feel cool on my ride and guided me on how a decent teen should dress.
Right now, I can still hear those words echoing whenever I stand to dress and it has molded my sense of clothing.
Hey teenage girls, I know you feel your parents hate you because they don’t allow you to wear the type of clothing you feel is in trend.
You have been putting up a fight all along, but I need you to take a break and look at yourself in the mirror—does your choice of clothing make you look decent or exposed?
If the latter is your answer, don’t get mad when your parents oppose it.
2. Freedom to go Visit Friends
One of the common teenage problems with parents includes a lack of freedom to hang out with friends. It can get more restrictive on the girls as females are vulnerable to harm.
Most parents cherish their female children and treat them as jewels. Nobody wants their jewel out of their sight. In contrast, teenage girls want the freedom to hang out with their friends and have some fun.
3. Body Changes
Teenagehood comes with a series of puberty changes in both genders but can get more pronounced in females. During these times a girl finds it difficult to cope with the continuous changes her body is undergoing.
Many females need someone to talk to at such a time. This can be more frightening if they weren’t informed about what to expect before their puberty stage.
Sadly, most parents don’t know when and how to have “the talk” with their daughter before her puberty. Oftentimes, their approach can make their daughter feel more confused, and wouldn’t want to open up to them.
4. Boys, Boys, Boys
The issues regarding females and the opposite gender are one of the teenage problems with parents that girls struggle with. But, with the right sexual education guidance, they could get it right.
One beautiful thing about teenhood is that it offers you the opportunity to fall in love and have crushes. Most adults had their first love during their teenage years and had a series of feelings that they thought something was going wrong with them.
During teenagerhood, there is a sudden increase in sexual hormones inside the body and most teens don’t know how to handle these feelings.
In the absence of the right guidance, many teen girls got indulged in premarital sexual affairs and ended up with pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
Parents need to educate their teenage girls properly on how to handle their emotions towards the opposite gender.
Social media and peer groups can give the wrong information about issues regarding sexual intercourse. Therefore, you must get your teen girls equipped with the right information.
However, she might fight back as her emotions are in charge. Don’t let that discourage you, keep at it with the right approach and she will get to see your perspective soon.
Teenage Relationship Problems with Parents
1. Lack of Communication
The lack of communication is among the teenage problems with parents that have affected the love bond between many teenagers and their parents.
Oftentimes, parents try to get their children to respect them by being strict. This way only makes them afraid of you as their parents and wouldn’t open up to you concerning what is bothering them.
Parents should be open to communication and should create a conducive atmosphere to allow their kids to have conversations and express themselves without fear.
2. Distance
Learning how to balance work and family can be difficult for many working-class parents. Sadly, the relationship between teens and their parents has been affected by distance as their parents are always too busy with work.
The distance created makes many teenagers feel their parents don’t care about their well-being or love them anymore. As a result, they tend to trust in the wrong source.
Therefore, as a parent don’t let your job get in between your relationship with your children. Creating and sticking with a schedule is very helpful. Also, focus on work duties at the office and family when at home.
3. Setting Boundaries
Failure to adjust set boundaries that are strict and restrictive breeds teenage problems with parents. Teenagers want a sense of Independence in their teen stage.
Too much control over a teen makes it difficult for them to take responsibility for themselves as they grow older.
Sadly, too much restrictions can make your teen might go overboard at the slight chance of freedom in your absence. Remember, your child is growing and wouldn’t be under your care forever.
Be willing to trust your teen with little freedom and control and see how they handle it. This way they can learn gradually to become better adults.
4. Harsh Discipline
Discipline is an effective tactic in training children as they learn to behave properly. However, most parents use the wrong method of disciplining a child which weakens the relationship between them and their children.
Not every wrong done by your child should be corrected by beating without listening to what the child has to say; this is the correct way to discipline your child.
Is It Normal for a Teenager to Hate Their Parents?
Teenhood is often filled with fights and arguments between teens and their parents that result in a series of teenage problems with parents. Many teenagers get to feel their parents don’t love them due to the restrictions placed on them.
During such times it’s okay for you to feel angry towards your parents, this type of anger doesn’t last long and fades off as your parents make further attempts to make you understand their perspectives.
However, when you have parents who are toxic and treat you badly, you might develop hatred towards them that doesn’t seem to go away even as you grow up.
Sadly, hating your parents doesn’t heal the hurt they might have caused you. Instead, it takes a toll on your health. If you find yourself hating your parents, you should forgive them, and take some time away from them to heal.
If this action seems difficult to take, you might want to consider the help of a therapist.
What to Do with Toxic Parents as a Teenager
Teenage problems with parents are common in families where the parents are toxic. So, if your interaction with your parents continuously leaves you feeling depressed and frustrated, you might be dealing with toxic parents. Here are a few tips on what to do with toxic parents:
- Be direct and respectful in communicating your feelings to them.
- Don’t try to change them or normalize the abuse
- Set and enforce boundaries such as staying away from home, coming home late, and leaving early.
- Be mindful of what you share with them
- Have an exit strategy such as excusing yourself from a conversation.
- Get external strong support like friends that encourages you and a therapist.
- Learn to change topic of discussion that will end up hurting you.
- Stop trying to please them as it’s impossible to please toxic parents.
Conclusion
The teenage phase is a crucial stage that can make or damage the future of a teenager. While teenage problems with parents are common and tough due to conflict of interest, parents should be willing to guide their teens through this phase.
Additionally, most teenagers make their decisions from emotions which are bound to change often. Hence, their parents should be open, welcoming, communicative, attentive, and friendly to them during this time.
Frequently Asked Questions and Answers
What are the common problems among teenagers?
Common teenage problems include the urge for freedom and Independence, peer pressure, emotional outburst, and bodily changes.
What are the problems faced by teenage parents?
Teenage parents go through tough times trying to guide their teens in the right direction. Common problems faced by teenage please include:
- Conflict of opinions with a teenage child
- Constant arguments and disagreement
- Disobedience to instructions and disrespect from teens
- Inability to understand teenage child emotions
- Difficulties in tolerating teenager’s change in attitude
What are the hardest teenage years for parents?
Teens at age 15 are most difficult to handle as pressure from peers and changes in hormones are at their peak.
Why do teenagers go against their parents?
Oftentimes, teenagers go against their parents because the teen phase comes with the urge for freedom and independence which most parents withhold from their teens.
What is the hardest parenting age?
Many parents are probably surprised that age eight is the most challenging age to parent. In their efforts to assert their independence and individuality, eight-year-olds can be stubborn.
Why is raising a teenager so difficult?
Raising a teenager can be difficult because the teenage phase comes with a greater urge for independence, decision-making, and a sudden increase in hormones. All these make teens rebellious to parental instructions.
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! Its the little changes that will make the biggest changes. Thanks for sharing!