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10 Undisputable Signs of a Dying Relationship and How to Fix it
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When relationships start at first, they are promising and all you can see is happily ever after. But what happens when the misunderstandings starts, what happens when you can’t seem to agree on anything. Do you fight harder or concede defeat.
Every true warrior should know when to fight and when to retreat. Has your once happy relationship become exhausting and tiring? Do you feel stuck? Are wondering if there’s anything left to fight for? Here are some signs of a dying relationship.
10 Undisputable Signs of a Dying Relationship
1. Loss of Interest in Spending Time Together
Spending quality time together is something lovers look forward to doing. They go on dates, road trips, see movies together, visit each other’s houses and a whole lot of fun things to bond together. If you feel uninterested in spending time with your partner, that is one of the signs of a dying relationship.
Sometimes you may want a bit of space and ‘me’ time away from your partner, that’s normal and necessary but if you have no interest whatsoever in spending time together with your partner, your relationship is dying.
2. Lack of Communication
The importance of Communication in a relationship cannot be overemphasized. No relationship would survive if there’s no communication. If your relationship is at the point where communicating with your partner is almost impossible.
There’s always a misunderstanding, your partner doesn’t feel safe talking to you, or they are just not available to talk, your relationship is at verge of death.
3. Constant Arguing
Does this you must always agree? Of course not. Having disagreements and arguments are perfectly normal. You may not share the same opinion on things and that’s okay.
When the arguments become frequent such that you can’t have a decent conversation with your partner without arguing, then you may want to reevaluate the relationship. Arguing and bickering at each other is exhausting and not being able to see eye to eye on several issues could mean incompatibility.
4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
If you are in a relationship where you talk about the fun stuff and you joke around but when it comes to real conversations, you begin to avoid it, that is one of the signs of a dying relationship. Some of these conversations can be uncomfortable and difficult but It’s important that we talk about them in the relationship.
It helps us to better understand ourselves and our partners. It also gives the relationship depth. Avoiding such conversations could mean that you’re not interested in the future of the relationship and you’re just there for the fun or it could mean that you’re dealing with an insecurity and you’re afraid those conversations will lead to a breakup. Either way, avoiding them could still end up ruining the relationship.
5. Not Making an Effort to Resolve Issues
I remember seeing a movie where the girl would always talk about her feelings, shout and argue. One day the boyfriend got someone pregnant, and she didn’t react. He was so shocked, but a wise friend told him that when a woman doesn’t react anymore, she’s done. That may have been fiction but I’m telling you that once there’s no more effort in terms of fixing the issue in the relationship, your partner may be done.
A relationship that still has potential involves two individuals who are making efforts to resolve their issues no matter how hard. If both of you no longer make efforts, it safe to say that the relationship is dying.
6. Feeling Disconnected From Each Other
You’ll agree with me that at the beginning of your relationship, you felt connected to your partner. Just the thought of them gave you butterflies. There was a spark , some call it passion but it’s usually there at the beginning of every relationship.
As the relationship gets older, the spark may begin to dim but the connection you’ve already built emotionally keeps the relationship together. There’s security, love and constant reassurance of love and respect for each other. When all of these becomes nonexistent in your relationship, it means there has been a disconnection.
It could be as a result of distrust or even your partner disregarding your feelings. One of the clear signs of a dying relationship is when the emotional connection is gone.
7. Not Showing Affection or Expressing Appreciation
Showing affection and love for your partner is what is ideal in a relationship. You can’t claim to love and not show affection. When there’s no show of affection or appreciation in a relationship, it could lead to insecurities which can greatly affect the relationship.
It can also lead to resentment toward each other. Every human needs to be appreciated and loved. If you don’t feel this in your relationship, it is one of the signs of a dying relationship you should watch out for.
8. Withdrawing from Physical Intimacy
When either you or your partner withdraw from physical intimacy, it could be a sign that the relationship is dying. Many people think physical intimacy is just sexual intimacy. Love making is one of the forms, but it is way more than that. Other forms could be hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, patting on the back, rubbing the hair and whole lot more.
If you decide to withdraw from sexual intimacy in your relationship for personal or religious reasons, that’s okay. But if there was physical intimacy at the beginning and somewhere along the line, there’s a withdrawal, then you could watch out for that sign.
If this withdrawal is happening in a marriage where love making and all forms of intimacy are allowed, there’s definitely a problem. Communicate with your partner and figure out why they are withdrawing.
9. Lack of Trust
Trust is very important for any relationship to thrive. A relationship without trust is like a house without foundation. Just like a pack of cards, it’d come crashing down. When you no longer trust your partner, it’s one of the the signs of a dying relationship.
Without trust, the relationship has no future. Good thing trust can be rebuilt although it takes a lot of time. If you and your partner put in the effort, trust can be earned again.
10. Not Making Any Plans for the Future Together
Every relationship should have a purpose and a goal. The relationship has to be leading to somewhere. I always advice that the beginning of a relationship, you should talk about your expectations and future together.
If you are not making any plans for the future, then maybe there’s no future for both of you. When there’s no common goal, the relationship may not survive. You should have a conversation with your partner and discuss the future. If there’s no future, it’s best to discontinue the relationship.
How to Fix a Dying Relationship
1. Talk to Your Partner
When you can tell that your relationship is dying, you should talk to your partner about it. Talk about all the signs you’ve seen and what to do moving forward. Own your own part of the issues and apologize where necessary.
Be honest and open. Don’t just talk but actively listen. Not to defend yourself but rather to understand your partner. Talk about your fears, expectations, unresolved conflicts. Don’t forget to forgive and let go.
2. Rebuild Trust
If trust was broken, rebuilding trust is one way to fix the relationship. While it is very hard to rebuild Trust, it is very possible. Both partners should be willing to do the work.
Let go of the past and put in effort to earn each other’s trust. It may be difficult; it may look like it’s not working but just trust the process and be patient. Slowly but surely, trust will be rebuilt again.
3. Spend Time Together
Spending time together helps build a bond and helps with understanding each other better. No matter how busy you are, create time to enjoy each other’s company. Do things you both love to do.
You could play games, go to the park, visit the zoo or a museum, take walks, go on dates, see a movie etc. Just find a way to be with each other as it was when the relationship started. This will help with building connection, and it’d remind you of why you chose your partner in the first place.
4. Seek Professional Help
You could get a therapist who would guide you and your partner into finding your way back to being lovers again. Sometimes doing it ourselves can become difficult.
If you must, get a professional to help you walk through your issues. Talking and counseling could do the relationship a lot of good.
5. Create New Memories
Consider this phase like a new relationship. You’ve both been another chance. Make the most of it. Have fun together, try new things together as a couple. Let the past go and be very present.
There’s no easy way to be in a relationship. Relationship requires a lot from the individuals in question. Knowing where to put your energy and where not to is important. These signs are here to help you evaluate your relationship.
The step you need to take next, is totally up to you. Just remember that you deserve the best. If you want to fix your relationship, that’s good. If you want to take a step and leave, that’s good too. At the end of the day, you should do whatever brings you peace and makes you happy.
How do you know the relationship is dying?
If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, arguing more often, and not communicating as much as you used to, it could be a sign that your relationship is dying.
Other signs include feeling unappreciated, not enjoying spending time together, and not making an effort to resolve conflicts. If these issues are left unresolved, the relationship may be dying.
What to do when you feel like your relationship is dying?
Talk to your partner! Communication is important so you can figure out what went wrong. If you decide to let go of the relationship, that’s okay otherwise, you and your partner should make time for each other, find ways to resolve your issues and if you must, seek help from a professional.
How do you tell if the spark is gone in a relationship?
When you no longer feel connected to your partner. Once the emotional connection and physical attraction is gone, the spark in the relationship may be gone.
When should you let go of a relationship?
You should let go of the relationship when the relationship is toxic, abusive and unhealthy. The moment you start to lose your peace and doubt your self worth, it could be time to let go.
How do you know it’s over?
When it’s over, you’ll know it. You may begin to feel a sense of sadness, exhaustion or relief. You may also notice that you no longer feel the same connection to your partner or that communication has become difficult. Its over when your partner has obviously moved on and is no longer interested in the relationship.
How do you know your partner is not right for you?
If your partner does not make you feel safe, respected, or appreciated, or if you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells around them, then they may not be the right partner for you.
Also, if your partner does not share your values, goals, or interests, or if you find yourself constantly compromising your own values and needs to please them, then they may not be the right partner for you.
What is a draining relationship?
A draining relationship is a relationship that takes more from you and doesn’t add any value to you. A relationship where there is a constant feeling of exhaustion from misunderstandings and arguments.
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