Have you ever had to take out gum that was stuck in your hair?  The pain that comes from waxing as they pull your hair out is nothing compared to the pain that comes from detaching yourself from someone that used to mean the world to you. 

Having to let go of a relationship that meant so much to you is hard and painful. Having to start all over again without your partner is equally worse. Sometimes it may even seem impossible.

The thought of letting go of someone you have so many memories with can keep you in an endless cycle of hurt and pain. 

The first step to knowing how to get over someone is what you’ve already done. You’re here! And if you stick around, I’ll walk you through ways you can get over them.

7 Effective Tips on How to Get Over Someone

1. Get Closure if You Didn’t Get Any

My previous relationship ended over the phone. It left me angry, hurt and confused. How was I supposed to move on without so much of an explanation as to why things ended? I didn’t want to revisit the pain so I forced myself to ‘move on’. 

I didn’t exactly move on because I hadn’t come to terms with the fact the relationship was over. Eventually, we had to meet up and talk. We spoke about everything that led to the end and after that there was a deep sense of understanding and acceptance. 

I knew that there was nothing to go back to and that was the beginning of letting go for me. If there are things that haven’t been said, say it. Ask all the questions you need to heal and process your feelings.

2. Grieve the Relationship

It’s okay to cry fellas. There’s no rule book on how long it should take to grieve a relationship so take your time. Having put your heart and soul into that relationship, it’s only normal that it’d hurt. 

Trying to forget or move on so quickly without addressing your feelings will only come back to haunt you later. I know Sometimes we just want to wake up and forget, be done with all the leftover feelings and just move on. It’s totally normal.

But don’t forget that moving on after losing someone takes time, be patient.

3. Cut Communication

When I was trying to move on from my relationship,” I’ll just stop calling him” was what I said to myself. He hurt me so this shouldn’t be hard was what I thought. 

Day one was the longest 24 hours I had ever spent in that period. We had a very active communication.  He was the first one to know what was happening with me and how my day went. 

Fighting the temptation to call or text was hard for me and worse, we were in the same school. So I had to move on while seeing him every day.  Did I eventually succeed? Yes I did. 

I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t mine anymore. Day 2 was easier than day 1 and as the days kept going, it became easier. When I was almost relapsing, I blocked his number. I promise you it gets easier when you stop talking.

4. Don’t Stalk

The Temptation to stalk them on social media to see how they’re doing or if they are seeing Someone else is usually high but stalking is definitely not how to get over someone. Leave their Instagram alone. You’ll only hurt yourself and make it harder to move on. 

One thing I did when I was struggling to move on was to block him and unfollow him on social media.

I knew that I’d be tempted to view his status, stalk him on Instagram and see what he’s tweeting so I had to nip it in the buds before I lose my sanity and go back begging after he posts a hot picture. 

5. Give Yourself a Break

Don’t be too hard on yourself at a time like this. Whether the break up was your fault or not, don’t beat yourself up about it.

When you’ve tried to move on and it seems like it’s not working, calm down and let it play out. You won’t feel better overnight and that’s okay. 

Fight the urge to jump into another relationship so you can move on. Another relationship won’t help you move on. You’ll just end up hurting the person you used as rebound.

6. Focus on Yourself

The most important thing you should do when thinking of how to get over someone is focusing on yourself.

Sometimes we can get lost in the partnership that comes with relationships that we lose ourselves in the process. You suddenly do not have an identity outside the relationship. 

If you were like that, now is the time to focus on you. Self- discovery helps you understand yourself. It can also give you an insight into the roles you played in ending that relationship.

Maximize your time alone and do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Treat yourself to a spa date, go clubbing with friends, Take yourself out, Take a course online, relocate to a new city, Go on a vacation, get a new hobby, meet new people and form new relationships. 

Trust me, you’ll be too busy enjoying your life, you wouldn’t even notice that you’ve stopped thinking about that ex.

7. Forgive and Let Go

 If you must truly move on from someone, you have to forgive them. Whether they cheated or were abusive, holding a grudge will do you more harm than good. For your own peace, let them go. When you’ve forgiven, it becomes easier to forget and move on.

Conclusion

Getting over someone you love is no walk in the park; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. From experience I can tell you it takes time, a lot of self-restraint and efforts.

The relationship that ended meant so much to you so don’t expect those feelings to just go away. If you stick to these fail- proof tips on how to get over someone, you’ll see results in no time. I’m rooting for you, you can do this!

FAQs

Is it possible to get over someone you see everyday?

Yes. Although seeing them every day can make getting over them  harder, it is very possible. You may have to maintain distance as much as you can and focus on other colleagues if it’s at work or classmates at school.

How do you cut someone out of your life when you see them everyday?

Find a way to keep out of sight. If you work together, keep it professional and make sure to keep your personal issues out of the office. Office gossip just makes it more awkward and harder.

How do you get over your crush if you see him everyday?

Maintain distance. If you know his daily routine, work around it and find a way to avoid him. . Be mentally prepared for the worst because you could bump into each other and they’ll be no escape route.When you meet, try to be cordial and stay calm so it wouldn’t be awkward.

How do you get rid of feelings for someone?

Getting over your feelings for someone takes time. You have to be patient. Cut communication and minimize interactions. It may be hard at first when you begin to miss them but if you remain focused on the goal, you’ll be free from those feelings in no time.

How do you make someone miss u?

Give them space. A few days away would do the magic. Absence they say makes the heart fonder.

How do I stop thinking about someone?

Think of something else. Divert your thoughts any time you find yourself thinking of them. It may be a struggle at first but eventually it gets easier

How do you stop having feelings for someone you can’t have?

Not an easy situation. You have to acknowledge the fact that you can’t be together and accept it. Acceptance doesn’t magically take the feelings away but it is a step in the right direction.