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12 Ultimate Secret of How to Handle Family Problems
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You wish for a family of unending peace, unity, happiness, and understanding, I too wish for that. But, living in a family is not a fairy tale as problems are bound to happen.
So, while your wish for a “happily ever after” family can’t be granted, you can have a happy family by learning how to handle family problems with the right knowledge.
Perhaps, you feel you can’t get through your current family problems, you’re not alone—All families have got their problems to handle.
In a family, each member has different views, behaviors, and attitudes that tend to clash with other family members. This results in frequent arguments, misunderstanding, and fights, which can be overwhelming and take your life off balance.
Family problems are inevitable but can be managed. In most cases, families are dealing with the same problems ranging from clashing personalities, change in job, the arrival of a new baby, dividing household responsibilities, or toxic family members.
In this guide, I will be sharing with you effective ways of solving family problems that lead to a happy family.
Causes of Family Conflicts and How to Resolve Them
1. Money Problems
Bills have got to get paid, and needs have got to be met irrespective of your paycheck. When all these can’t be carried out when due, pressure begins to rise and it adds tension to the household. Often, you might begin to get frustrated as you think of how to handle family problems regarding finance.
However, this can be resolved in many ways; you can begin by learning how to plan and utilize the family budget, cutting off unnecessary purchases, and saving for emergencies. You could as well sell off unnecessary family belongings to pay off debt.
2. Poor Communication
Lack of open and healthy communication in the family results in misunderstanding. It becomes difficult to relate and understand one another when effective communication is absent.
For a family to thrive, they must be able to discuss matters as regards the family and be able to communicate how they feel. However, vital issues get swept under the rug when communication is poor, likewise, wrong assumptions and resentment dominate the family.
The 7 C’s of the communication might be what your family needs at the moment. You need other family members to have a happy family. So, be willing to discuss matters and listen to what the other party has to say without interrupting.
Distance between family members is one factor that decreases the love bond in the family. This common problem is often created due to work schedules involving traveling regularly or a change of location.
If you have got kids, distance imposes greater challenges. Hence, you must learn how to handle family problems involving kids as it affects their well-being.
Unfortunately, you don’t have to search far, the digital age has made it easier to stay connected with family despite the miles apart. Video chat, and streaming online movies, and games together is a great start.
Additionally, while not getting enough time is a challenge, getting too much time together can also be a problem for some families. In this case, create some time alone for yourself away from family members. Also, you should engage in the things you love that could help relieve the boredom.
4. Disagreement on Parenting Style
Don’t get surprised when you begin to have problems with your partner as you both begin to have children. It’s normal and common because you and your partner grew up differently with unique ideas about parenting.
However, opposing each other’s parenting opinion in front of your kids is one of the biggest parenting mistakes you should avoid.
Instead, stay calm and discuss as responsible parents to resolve the issues. Be willing to reach a reasonable compromise— your children can be raised with both values.
5. Clashing and Toxic Personality
Not getting along with each other is normal and expected as everyone has an opinion to share. But, it becomes hurtful to the family and can shred the family bond when it results in arguments and conflict. it might even be more difficult to leave with a family member with toxic personality such as abuse, gaslighting, and narcissism.
Quarreling and fighting are not how to handle family problems, but you should not keep silent or endure when family problems involve toxic personalities or clashing opinions.
Everything must not go your own way. Instead of insisting on your own opinion, try to listen to what others have to say, understand their perspective and tolerate them. This way clashing personalities can be combated.
However, you need to speak up when dealing with toxic personalities. Setting boundaries is an effective way of handling toxic personalities in the family, as getting too close might affect your mental health. Visiting a therapist is also helpful in such situations, as a therapist will provide professional help.
6. Work-Life and Family Balance
Learning how to balance work and family is a difficult task for most parents to achieve. They need to work to pay bills and keep the family balanced. Sadly, it’s affecting your physical, emotional, and family well-being as you have got no time for yourself and your family.
Your job is important likewise your family. Hence, practice scheduling using a calendar, prioritize what matters most, and implement time management techniques. To balance your work life and family, leave work at work and focus on family when at home, don’t mix the two up.
7. Unfaithful and Divorce
Infidelity and divorce ruin family relationships like wildfire and should be avoided. Once you discover your partner is cheating on you, the trust is broken and you wouldn’t want to continue with the union anymore.
I know it hurts, but before closing your marriage chapter which can be detrimental when kids are involved, seek for how to handle family problems when trust is broken.
One of those effective ways is seeking professional help. A therapist will help you and your partner process your feelings at such a difficult moment, offer practical solutions and help guide you both on the way forward; whether a divorce is needed or not, your therapist will ensure you make the right decisions.
8. Pressure From Parents
Problems in the family can result from misunderstandings between parents and their children. Kids get frustrated and go off balance mentally, physically, emotionally, and academically when their parents pressure them into doing something they don’t want to do.
Likewise, setting high expectations and demanding perfection from your kids is unhealthy for your child’s development. While you know what’s best for your child, it’s important you allow your children to make their own decisions.
Don’t shred the love bond you have with your kids with unrealistic expectations. In contrast, trust your kids’ decisions, and give them room to express and do the things they love.
9. Divvying Household Chores
One person doing all the household chores isn’t healthy for a happy family. The other person will feel cheated and taken advantage of. Subsequently, will begin to act troublesome to communicate disapproval.
However, one effective means of how to handle family problems entails dividing the household chores appropriately. Divide labor in the house for every member in fairness and age-appropriate. There are also household chores for kids you could assign to your children too.
10. Difficult Children
Having children at all stages from toddlers to teens can be a tough task to cope with especially when kids are aggressive. Instead of breaking down in tears and frustration, you could learn how to be patient with kids as you will need tons of patience to scale through.
Additionally, instead of beating or scolding your child at all times, use the correct ways of disciplining a child when they do wrong. Also, before quick punishment, try to listen to what they have got to say and see things from their perspective.
Don’t forget to set positive examples as a parent as your kids are watching and will likely model after your pattern.
11. Addiction and Mental Health Problems
It gets overwhelming living with a family member who is addicted to harmful lifestyles like hard drugs, and abusing others. Likewise, family members with health problems such as autism or trauma.
Although it’s difficult to cope with these issues, giving up on them is not a perfect solution. Encourage the recovery of your loved one by seeking medical assistance, visiting therapy sessions, and setting boundaries when necessary. Remember, you need to stay healthy to take care of such family members.
How to Deal With Family Problems as a Student
Students from dysfunctional homes might find it difficult to concentrate on their studies. This often results in poor academic performance. Therefore, instead of living with frustration, you can learn how to handle family problems even as a student.
- Communicate how you feel about the problems in your family honestly and respectfully during a family discussion
- Be bold to express what you feel is the best when a discussion is ongoing
- Develop a support network and relate how you’re feeling to them
- It is okay to take some time off from home to unwind from the problems
- Prioritize your mental health and know that this is a phase that will be over soon
- Seek assistance from campus resources especially when your financial needs are neglected as a result of the problem
- Walk closely with the guidance and counseling unit of your institution
- Use the help of a trusted third party who might communicate better with your family
- Remember you can’t change your family but you can change the way you respond to the challenge—respond positively
- Keep silent and calm when settlement is resulting in an argument and come back to the issue when the people involved are no longer angry
- Use the help of parents if the problem is with siblings, and vice versa
- Continue your regular activities, and learn to take a break when it gets overwhelming
How to Deal With Family Problems as a Child
A child in a troublesome family might not be able to process all their feelings as their emotional coordination is being influenced by the problems in the family. However, communication is key and vital in such times.
As a child, you must be able to communicate effectively how you feel about the problems in the family to your parents. Perhaps, it’s your parents pressuring you to do something you don’t want to or setting high expectations, don’t rebel disrespectfully or become aggressive, it wouldn’t solve the problem.
In contrast, how to handle family problems as a child will require you to approach your parents in the right atmosphere when they aren’t angry or stressed. Respectfully state your perspective and show what it means to you. You might want to use the help of a trusted third party if you can’t express yourself effectively.
In a family system, problems are inevitable on the journey to a happy family. Problems when not resolved can decrease the family love bond and take one’s life off balance. However, learning how to handle family problems is an effective way of resolving all sorts of differences and challenges associated with family life.
For peace to reign in your home, agree to negotiate not to win the argument but to resolve the problems. Be willing to compromise and resist the urge to engage in blame games—accept your faults and understand others’ perspectives.
Frequently Ask Questions and Answers
What are the common problems in the family?
Every family has their unique problem to deal with. But, in most cases, clashing personalities, toxic personalities, disagreement on parenting style, poor communication, and money challenges are the common problems in the family.
How do you deal with a negative family member?
Let such individuals know how their negative attitude is hurting you politely. Don’t let their negative words get to you, remember nothing is wrong with you, they’re just being negative. Also, you should keep boundaries and associate with more positive support.
How can family problems be improved?
Family problems get Improved when everyone is willing to work as a team to achieve a happy home. This requires a willingness to understand another person’s perspectives, agree to negotiate, and reach a compromise.
What is toxic family behavior?
A toxic family behavior is one wherein family members frequently show actions that hurt and negatively affect other members of the family. Examples include criticizing, abusive, and manipulative behaviors.
How do you tolerate toxic family members?
The most effective way to tolerate toxic family members is to create boundaries. Getting too close to these kinds of people will always leave you brokenhearted, which might affect your well-being—keeping your distance is vital.
How do you heal when your family hurts you?
Give yourself time to heal by taking some time off your family. A change of environment to a more supportive one can enhance your healing process. Don’t hesitate to seek the help of a therapist when you can’t handle it anymore.
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